30/13: How to Find A Good Pig

If you are like me you will know what I mean when I say that a good pig is hard to come by. So I've done my research and have made a short list...

How To Find A Good Pig

1. Know your pig parts:
Head, Jowls, Shoulder, Loin,
Belly, Leaf Fat,  Kidney, Ham,
General Fat.

2. Choosing a healthy pig is
highly recommended, after all
a healthy pig is a good pig, is
a happy pig. To determine
how healthy your pig is.
find his kidney, check
for the inspector’s gash.
This will tell you your pig
has passed inspection.
Pigs living  a natural, organic
lifestyle generally
tend to have good health.

3. Eyeball your pig’s prime cuts:
The Loin, The Ham and the Shoulder

Know the difference between the shoulder
and the loin.  Confusing one for the other
could lead to problems in the future.
In a good pig, the distinction is obvious.

Do not confuse the ham for with loin.
If you cannot tell them apart, apply
the two finger rule.

4. Remember cultural subtleties.

These begin at the head, there are
useful muscles here from whence
exotic delights can come - cheeks,
ears, snout. There are indescribable
pleasures that can from enjoying
head. Unless you’re American.
Apparently Americans prefer not
to have head.

In Canada, ham refers to the meat
surrounding the leg; in the US and UK,
ham could be any piece of brined pig.
Much confusion can be avoided by
bearing this distinction in mind.

5. You cannot love a pig with loving
its belly, because you cannot love
pig without loving bacon. Just the
hint of bacon in the air could be
enough to make you swoon.
And don’t we all all know it,
everything’s better with bacon.

6. Similarly, you cannot love a pig
without loving its ribs. The side ribs
make spare ribs and the back ribs
are what become succulent, finger-
licking baby back ribs.

7. Test your pig’s fat by pinching it.
A good pig’s fat will be dense to
the pinch and a bad pig’s fat,
once pinched goes all soft
and gooey.

So that was my list, I’ve checked it twice.
And aside from the list, some useful advice -
not every good pig will be the one for you.
Once you've found your pig, ask yourself this...
Will your pig roll in the mud with you?
On days when you’re running around
in circles, will your pig be there running circles
with you?
And when the pigpen gets crowded, will your pig
leave enough room for you?

Go find yourself a pig,
find one healthy and true
and make sure this pig
is a good pig for you.