The End of the Innocence

Then and now, what is lost and what is gained...?

 Do you recall that exact moment in your story that your innocence ended? Or if it ever ended at all? Or perhaps you wonder whether you ever had it at all, the innocence?

Where I come from, there is still an innocence and child-like way about people. It's a gritty, rough and corrupted a place for sure, but something about the way people are remains innocent and trusting. A lot has to do with the oppression of  Catholic conquistadores, for sure.  Somehow in their teaching about faith and the promise of heaven they managed to instill a deep sense of hope that has allowed generations to smile through adversity with a genuine levity no matter how dire their situation.

I have often wondered, is this innocence or the proverbial state of blissful ignorance. But what is blissful in knowing the hunger of three days without, paying taxes to a government that is stealing from you, or having to tell your son he can no longer continue the third grade? I do not see this innocence in America. Instead, I see eyes with lights dimmed through the years. It is beyond being jaded, this unfamiliar weariness. Perhaps it is a sense of defeat; the house always wins, even in their gamble for the American dream.

This is still an oddity to me after all these years. This 'casino' approach to life's dreams. The one that involves maxxing out credit cards and subprime mortgages. Just thinking about it makes my stomach flutter. Is this the innocence, the child-like quality warning me, keeping me from harm's way? Perhaps I still do have some of my innocence intact.

Maybe one of these days you'll see me making my way through America wearing my immigrant smile and Unamerican happy-strut. And maybe it will be a particularly bad day at the American dream slots. Come by and say hi, maybe some of my levity will rub off on you. Because you know what, I have a feeling you still have some innocence and child-like hopefulness simmering in your insides. And maybe, just maybe when this glint in my eye will turn your lights back on. When that day comes, the house will stop winning. Because you know what, you'll stop gambling on a dream and really start having fun again.